Blogging Made Me Self Conscious About My Body | Klassy Kinks

Blogging Made Me Self Conscious About My Body

About a year ago, I looked at a picture of myself I wanted to post on Instagram and thought, damn, when did I get chubby? I quickly shrunk my stomach down in Facetune and posted the picture, satisfied with the subtle change.

A few weeks of shrinking my stomach in pictures got old, so I joined an exercise class in Jersey City. I told myself that I wanted to get in shape and slim down for the wedding, but the reality was that I’d become obsessed with how my body photographed.

Fast forward a few months, and not only had I lost ten pounds, built muscle, and looked snatched for my wedding, but I started liking how my body looked in outfit photos. Comments rolled in saying I looked toned and lean, which confirmed my earlier suspicions that I’d gotten flabby. My fashion content performed better than it ever had, and I secured more and more fashion sponsorships.

Blogging Made Me Self Conscious About My Body | Klassy Kinks

But at what cost?

My strict macro counting nutritional habits fell FAR by the wayside after getting married. I didn’t have time to prep five small meals and get up at 6am to workout daily, choosing instead to spend precious extra moments bonding with my new husband. In turn, the flab came back. With it returned those same feelings of body insecurity and shame. I looked up flattering poses and angles, and tried to remember to simultaneously suck in my stomach and poke my butt out to accentuate my waistline. That’s all really hard to do while also smiling and looking natural, so I rarely got it right.

After my past two photo shoots, I’ve found myself once again scrutinizing, and at times editing down my stomach before sharing a post on Instagram. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but since I’ve added fashion blogger to my repertoire, I’ve become increasingly conscious of how my body looks in images. I don’t know whether the subtle edit will be the difference between 500 likes and 1000 likes, or if it will be an image a brand pulls up when choosing bloggers for their next campaign. On top of the pressure to be skinny on social, there’s also the newlywed thing. The slightest pooch or bloated belly leaves people thinking I might be pregnant, and since some folks lack home training, I wouldn’t want to be embarrassed by a comment asking how far along I was.

Blogging Made Me Self Conscious About My Body | Klassy Kinks
Original Image – the stripes don’t help!
Blogging Made Me Self Conscious About My Body | Klassy Kinks
Shrunken belly.

Let me be clear, in everyday life, I’m cool with my body. I feel strong and healthy, and my husband constantly uplifts me and showers me with compliments. I LOVE my thighs. They’re strong and muscular! And depending on what pants I’m wearing, I kinda like my booty too.

But I definitely experience a pressure to conform to a certain blogger “shape” on social media. There’s either skinny and thigh gap, ridiculous waist to hip ratio, or confident plus-size – there isn’t really a niche for “just below average but not exactly skinny and a bit toned in some parts and flabby in others” bloggers like myself. It’s a daily project for me to be comfortable in my own skin – and flab – on social media, but hopefully opening up about my insecurities is one step towards getting over them.

Share your thoughts...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. I absolutely love your honesty and that’s why I always come back to you’re site. I would like to let you know that I looked at that picture here and on instagram and you look the same size in the left that you do in the right. We are our hardest critics. That tummy is tight girl don’t be hard on yourself.

    Guilty of Glitz

  2. I can completely everything you have said in this post ! But I am with you regardless of how you look flab or no flab. I’m here for the content and your beauty both inside and out – Klassy Kinks and Ijeoma! But I also know that it is difficult when you are alone with your thoughts – to that I sat remember this post and the progress you want to make mentally. Chat with the Big Man upstairs or to whomever you have a stronger calling to 🙂

    1. Thank you so much Earla-Ashlee!! I definitely feel more confident during times when my faith is strong, so great reminder to turn to God when I’m feeling down!

  3. I honestly applaud you for your honesty and transparency in this post Ijeoma. The pressure on the ‘gram is already real as is, and I can only imagine how much greater it is for people who have at least a few thousand eyes watching them on a daily basis. Whether or not you FaceTune your belly, you are still wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of God, so screw the pressure! Lol you look great! 🙂

  4. Honestly, I never thought that you were out of shape. You look tone and fit to me. I wish that I was your side. You shouldn’t feel self conscious of your body because you look fabulous. I know for myself that I’m not in shape and there are things that I would like to change. You look good and I know people can be so critical of others and I am sure that they don’t look as good as you do. I believe if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all. You look good Ijeoma.

powered by chloédigital