June Q&A – Home Decor, Christianity & LGBTQ Rights, and More

Home decor wasn’t a focus in my home growing up, but since my parents were in real estate, we did watch a fair amount of HGTV. I loved Property Brothers, House Hunters, and Fixer Upper, and watching those showed me the power of interior design in transforming a space into something that is functional as well as stylistic.

I shared this post in the May newsletter and think it has amazing ideas for creating a workspace that takes up very little space! If you want to have your child in the room with you as you work, it might be helpful to ensure they have things to occupy themselves – I shared the activity gyms we use for TKB here and he sits in either this chair or this chair when he’s not on the floor.

Our crib just came, so I’m motivated to get it done now! I recently committed to buying from Black owned businesses in beauty, fashion, and home, so I’m spending a bit more time sourcing a lamp for the reading corner. The wallpaper we ordered for the feature wall has been chilling at my parents’ house for months, but once that’s shipped and the lamp is sourced it’ll be done!

It’s from Article! Our entire living room is here.

I still get many of the products I use from the US, partly because I don’t know where to find things in Kenya. I usually ship things I need in using SavoStore. Long story short, idk lol.

I’d met up with Sheila Ndinda on one of my previous visits to Kenya, after hitting her up on IG where I found her on my explore page. Anyone else I’ve hung out with has been a result of us connecting on IG or meeting through another influencer.

Yes, I can feel that it’s getting cooler, which still throws me off because I’m used to Africa being hot year round (as it is in Nigeria). But I’m also not trying to buy coats or sweaters for 65 degree weather.

For the most part, yes. More thoughts here.

If you mean by leaving permanently, I have no idea. I had no plans of leaving the US and look at me now!

I remained pretty active while pregnant. I exercised by doing dance classes during my first trimester, yoga in my second trimester, and aquanatal during my third. I also didn’t have that many cravings, so my diet didn’t change dramatically.

Yup, still breastfeeding, but now we’re also having 1-2 solid meals a day! I’m always worried about my supply my boobs are on the smaller side, which has nothing to do with milk production, but I’ve always had confidence issues with my breasts and that has translated to anxiety about nursing. There was one week in particular when the kid was super hungry and I thought something was wrong with my supply. Turns out he was just going through a growth spurt.

Having a schedule for the kid helps a lot – I shared our schedule here. I also have help – both with my husband also working from home and with a part-time (3 days a week, in the mornings) nanny. My own productivity has to be razor sharp since I have less time to work with, so when I have kid-free time I try to hunker down and do the most important things first. That usually means I shoot content while he’s asleep, and leave things that don’t need my undivided attention (or sunlight) like answering emails or replying to comments for when he’s awake during the day or put to bed at night.

We talked about schools briefly before he was born, as we were doing long-term financial planning. But in real life, no.

I’m still doing this routine I shared in April, but I’ve also been using an azelaic acid product in the mornings and a niacinamide in the evenings before my moisturizer. Consistent use of Vitamin C + sunscreen has helped my scars a lot – but the biggest thing is avoiding new pimples in the first place. I just got a few more products that I’m starting to play around with, including Dr. Dennis Gross Extra Strength Peel Pads (I was using the sensitive skin ones while pregnant) and Shani Darden Retinol Reform (which I just discovered is Black-owned!)

I wash my hair about once a month, and I use whatever products are on hand lol.

This is such a subjective question and really depends on your field and where you are currently in life. There are people who get master’s degrees and struggle to find work, and people who get master’s degrees and triple their salary (usually the MBA folk). I also don’t know what master’s programs are like because I was never in one, I went straight into a PhD program. But your best bet is to ask people who are in programs you’re interested in what its like and whether they think its worth it.

You should do it afraid! Of course you won’t have friends at first, but we live in the 21st century and you can still talk to your old friends from back home every single day while you wait to make connections with new people. Here is some advice for making friends in a new city (or country!).

I’ve been working from home for years so I’m not new to this, here are some tips for how to remain productive while at home.

I’m currently reading Palette – it’s a beauty suggestion book for women of color, and every time I come across a product I already use, I give myself a pat on the back! For TV, I’m almost done with Dead to Me Season 2, halfway through The Big Flower Fight, just started Crazy Delicious, and am planning to binge the latest season of Queer Eye this weekend.

I made this cake for Father’s Day, and need to remake Aicha’s amazing peanut stew recipe, it was so good! I shared a few more things that I was planning to bake in number 15 of this post, and I’m proud to say I’ve made them all except the brioche bread!

You must not be on the SJR newsletter because I sent an update a few weeks ago! The retreat is officially postponed, with tentative dates next spring. I’m waiting until the world opens up again to know if spring is even a possibility.

I love this question! Our church hosted a Zoom call on marriage intimacy on Friday and it turned out to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever participated in. It was a really candid convo about sex in marriage and one of the hosts asked us what our wildest sexual escapades were with our spouses! Needless to say, folks were pretty shy but the host proceeded to tell us TMI about he and his wife’s sex life… while she was side eyeing him to tone it down lol. Jonathan and I were cracking up so hard (muted and with video off of course)!

Not at all. I also don’t think of it as supporting “rights” – because that has a political overtone (though for the political record I do support LGBTQ+ rights) – but really just supporting humanity and not believing that anyone should be treated poorly because of how they look, what they believe, or who they love. The second greatest commandment in Christianity is to love your neighbor as yourself, and Jesus himself associated with people whom his contemporaries would have never be seen with. So I believe that we are called to treat people who are different from us – whether they are white, Muslim, astrology fanatics, or trans – with the same dignity and humanity as we would treat our own brothers and sisters.

Now I recognize that a lot (some? I’m not sure of the numbers) of Christians don’t share these same beliefs, which disappoints me because our religion is supposed to be non-judgmental and welcoming and really just about love and restoration. I could talk about this for hours but I’ll just say two more things.

1. The church is not always right when it comes to legal/political issues (cough, cough, slavery). So I encourage you to pray and reflect on YOUR position based on your reading and understanding of the Bible and your discussions with God, and not just blindly follow what you’ve heard in church.
2. John 8:7

I’m trying to remember where I was at 24 and I for real can’t even remember what my life was like. I’m assuming you’re not married yet and don’t have any kids (my bad if this is wrong!) so my advice is to just go after your biggest and wildest dreams right now, before other things get in your way. If you fail, so what?! You have nothing but time ahead of you.

You do not have to pull all-nighters (it’s a sign you’re not using your daytime properly) and going to the library with friends is a trap – you will get ZERO work done (and then have to pull an all-nighter).

The best way to let guys know that you’re not the one to play games with is to simply not play games with them ? If he’s not treating you the way you want to be treated, thank you NEXT. If he doesn’t keep his word and call you when he says he’s gonna call, NEXT. If he ghosts you and then tries to return, BLOCK. I have yet to hear of a relationship or situationship where a guy started off trash and magically changed to be an amazing partner. And I might be wrong but I believe that men know from jump whether they’re serious about someone or not.

5’7, but with my hair in a fro I look more like 5’9 lol.

I’m working on using words of affirmation and encouragement more than chastising people. Nigerian culture and communication can be a bit caustic, so things that I’ve said and tones I’ve used that I didn’t think were rude have been perceived by others that way. Jonathan was the first to point it out to me, so I’ve been sorta working on it for years now, but now that I have a child, I’m trying to be more intentional about using positive language rather than playfully scolding.