March Q&A – Fave Hair Products, Buying a Home, Breastfeeding Tips & More!

I don’t think we did a lot of prep regarding mindset. Jonathan wanted to be closer to his family. I didn’t really care what I was doing as long as I was no longer in school. The only thing we specifically discussed was creating family boundaries. We were going to be living much closer to family than either of us had before, and would have a child, so we discussed how we wanted to protect the sanctity of immediate family time and space. Jokes on us because now I can’t wait for the weekends to roll around so we can take the kid to grandma’s house!

Nothing turned out to be absolutely essential, but if you already own things — whether clothing or furniture or otherwise — I’d come with them just so you’re not having to figure out where to buy stuff on top of all the other adjustments. Plus goods have the potential to be more expensive in Kenya than in the US.

Haha this is a question I’ve answered at least 5 times before but for my most recent thoughts, check out this video.

Well you should definitely come for the Safe Journey Retreat rather than planning a vacation by yourself! But I think it depends on what vibe you want — a luxury tented safari trip would be wonderful if you’re looking for a once-in-a-lifetime/splurge experience (which I haven’t done yet but is on my list!). If you’re a beach person, then Lamu is ideal for a couples trip because it’s quieter and more idyllic, while Watamu, Kilifi, and Diani (dang, I’ve actually been all up and down the coast!) are all great for beach + sightseeing adventures.

Very much over it at this point and looking forward to getting vaccinated.

No, I don’t cook Kenyan dishes regularly. I have cooked a few things a few times, but our nanny is a whiz on the veggies so she usually makes the sukuma and kunde and whatnot, and Jonathan makes the ugali because when I was growing up, my dad did the hard work of making the fufu/eba so I don’t believe in slaving over swallow lol. My favorite Kenyan food is chapati. Which technically isn’t Kenyan. So yeah, not a huge fan of Kenyan food. Nyama choma slaps though!

Either, or, or both! We’re making all sorts of plans and still trying to figure out what makes the most financial sense.

Yup.

Talked about that in this blog post, and a bit in this video!

In May!

It changes week to week anytime my son does something new, but right now, having him walk up to me and give me the hug is the sweetest, most heartwarming feeling.

Nope.

That’s a question for your pediatrician.

Also a pediatrician/dentist question! This is my first kid and I’m just winging it. I’m also not a medical doctor!

Here are previous posts where I talked about sleep training, but this one goes into the most depth.

I share it in this video!

I’d love a girl and right now am willing to give it one more shot but if we’re lucky enough to conceive again and it’s a boy, it will likely just be a wrap lol.

I was lucky enough not to have any issues breastfeeding. My mom was here when I gave birth and she was, in her past life, a delivery nurse, so she basically grabbed my boob one day and positioned it correctly and taught me how to breastfeed. I do have a blog post with breastfeeding tips for new moms!

I was only pregnant and in school for 4 months and I was hyper-focused on just finishing my dissertation. But during that season Jonathan stepped up and took over almost all household duties, and we also used a meal delivery service so we wouldn’t have to think about food.

Hmm, I don’t know if there is one particular answer here. I do think it has way more to do with emotional and psychological readiness rather than physical or milestone-dependent readiness.

I’ve written about our navigation of cultural and family differences here. In sum, my parents were hesitant initially but once Jonathan proved himself to him and showed he was a serious and upstanding man, it’s been smooth sailing ever since.

It should look like a personal statement in an application to any school. Explain who you are and how that has shaped how you engage with and think about the world, and how you want to contribute to it.

We share scholarships each month in Cohort Sistas, and make it a point to find ones that international students are also eligible for! Join here.

I submitted everything. Should have a final update soon!

I really do try to get videos up weekly, but I have a lot going on and sometimes miss a week or two. The goal is every week though.

Talked about that in this post at length, but I think just being confident in who I am and having boundaries has helped me be ok with the fact that there will always be people who want more from me but I am in no way, shape, or form obligated to give them anymore than I already do.

To actually be consistent with their blog. You can’t monetize something that is stagnant. I have a specific post about monetizing you can also check out.

Think outside of the box and create differently than other people. Collaborate with other people. But most importantly, be yourself and show your personality. Today, outfits aren’t what get people noticed. Personality, captions, artistic and out of the box thinking — that’s what does.

Thank you!!! She’s blessing me too!

I have a round-up of my favorite hair products here (though it’s almost 3 years old), but my hair isn’t super picky. The only thing that has been seriously blessing my life lately is this Black Magic Oil. My scalp has gotten dryer post-baby and it feels amazing.

I honestly, truly, do not do anything to my hair. I can’t overstate this enough. The fro you see is from when I took down my stitch cornrows and I did not wash or comb my hair, nothing. I put on a bonnet at night and take it off in the morning. If you’re looking for a step-by-step process of what I do in a month, check out this post.

Maybe, but I don’t think so. I’m not outside that much so I don’t think it has to do with the sun or atmosphere. I would say having a baby was probably the greatest contribution to my thriving hair. Both in terms of pregnancy hair growth and because I do WAY less to my hair now that I have a kid. A sis doesn’t have time for anything besides a monthly salon visit — which in fairness, I can afford now because I’m in Kenya.

Yes! Hopefully soon. Still strategizing.

Latest skincare routine is here!

I have a few posts on hyperpigmentation here.

Ooh that’s tough! I haven’t worn lipstick in forever. I honestly can’t even think of a favorite now, but the first that comes to mind is Fenty Stunna.

Busy (somewhat frantically), but grateful at all the different ways God is moving in my life!

Random fact about me: I’m not much of a music person. I’m never up to date on new music. I like to do work in silence. What I listen to most these days is BINGO by Little Baby Bum lol.

I have a whole blog post on lessons from my twenties!

To quote Mama and Papa Eboh, “your friends are not your friends.” LOL. My parents were very protective and believed that the people we went to school with — mostly affluent white people — were not our “true” friends and thus we didn’t need to socialize with them. But mostly because they came from a culture where you know people’s families and since we lived somewhere where they didn’t know someone’s parents, or how they were raised, they weren’t comfortable having their kids spending significant time with them. We went to church friends’ bday parties though!

I wish I had a good answer for this but I don’t think I ever had an accent since I grew up in the US. I think something to remember is that your accent does not reflect your intelligence, even when people try to make it sound like it does. I remember vividly convos where my parents would be on the phone with someone — say a utility company — and the person on the line would insist that they couldn’t understand my parents. Americans are pretty lazy and unwilling to stretch their ears a bit when it comes to language and accents, so I would just continue to persevere and don’t internalize their inability to understand you as a reflection of who you are. It’s their fault they can’t understand you, not yours!