The city that never sleeps. For most people, New York City is incredibly appealing for this reason – there is always something to do. Growing up in New Jersey, I always wanted to spend my adult years in NYC because it was the complete opposite of the boredom of the suburbs. When I graduated college in 2012, I could not wait to move to NYC. Even though I told myself that choosing Columbia for graduate school choice was due to its proximity to my family, deep down I knew I just wanted to be part of the never ending hustle and bustle of the concrete jungle.
A few years into life in NYC – after months spent dodging requests to braid my hair, sidestepping rats and tumbleweave, contemplating quitting graduate school more times than I can count, building an online brand, and persevering through a long distance relationship – I began to like sleep. Like really enjoy sleep. I began to daydream about and lust after sleep. And for someone who wants to prioritize sleep, New York City is not the best place to live. In fact, it is the worst place to live.
Fumes coming from my smoking neighbor’s apartment permeated my space. Police and fire truck sirens constantly interrupted both my YouTube videos and my shut eye. I convinced myself on numerous occasions that sounds heard in the middle of the night were firecrackers. All that traveling I did? I was always eager to escape the city, hoping for some peace and quiet.
Maybe my change of mind about NYC is because I’m entering a new season in life. While my early twenties were all about finding myself and having fun, the latter half is about preparing for wifedom and motherhood. Rather than shop for what to wear to the club, I now spend ridiculous amounts of time on Pinterest looking at home organization hacks (also known as adulting).
Though I’ve only been in my new place in Jersey City for a week and a half, my mind, body, and spirit are already more at peace. I wake up each morning eager to see the sun shining through my windows. I’m able to breathe in deeply. When I want to see the New York City skyline, I just travel to Exchange Place or Hoboken Waterfront. Getting into the city is still easy, just a 40 minute commute (if timed right).
Most importantly, moving out of New York City has given me the ability to rest. A well rested mind and body translates to more productivity, so I may actually be able to finish my PhD. While wedding planning. And running a side business. All in all, moving out of New York saved my sanity.
I lived in NY for 37 years going on 38 with a three year stint in FL and which makes me 40 now and I must say my last 5 years have been dreaming and trying to get out of NYC. NY is not conducive to single no children female’s. Our pay rate is still less while cost of living goes up every year. As 2018 gets ready to turn into 2019 I made up my mind no more. My whole life is now doxused on finding a way out of NY.
Do you know where you want to move to?
Writing this from a crap phone. Lol sorry for the grammar errors.
I currently live in new York city and I made the decision last night . I’ve had it with paying $2000 + for such a small apartment .The noisenoisenoisenoise, the crowded trains and the winter that sucked all have made consider this . I’m moving to Washington State, not Seattle but aa medium size town. I’ve been there before, got the job offer ,applied never dreaming they’ll call back. They did luckily and now I’m moving out .My sleep patterns are suffering immensely and like you motherhood is on our priority list.
I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in NYC and done a few stints there and I LOVE the electricity and vibe of the city but I also HATE it! The crowded, smelly trains, the attitude the uber-trendy everything, the fact that it’s so EXPENSIVE! I’m an island girl born and raised in the Caribbean but I crave (within reason) the city life which I get when I show up in NYC and stay for 3-4 months and then bounce. I’ll actually be back there for another stint next month (let’s see how long I’ll last this time). My Bro and his family, and my BFF live in NYC and are always trying to convince me to stay for the long haul and I refuse. I told them as much as I love the city and everything it offers, I refuse to bleed my pockets dry and suck the soul out of myself dealing with the city long term. At one point when I did consider staying permanently in NYC I considered moving to Jersey City and if I ever thought about moving back up north permanently I would definitely consider it. I doubt that will happen, the way y’all’s winter is set up though. LOL. I am happy for your transition and journey back into peace of mind and rest, SLEEP is important. REST is crucial for you to be your best and tackle school, bae-dom soon to be wife-dom and all that comes with it.
Once again congrats on the new place!
I remember months ago, via email, when you mentioned feeling a bit stressed and wanting to take some time to recharge. So glad to see you’re feeling and doing great! I’ve lived in NY too and LOVED it. My parents moved us from Queens to FL when I was a little girl and I remember being so upset when I found out that it didn’t snow in FL. Then I got older, went back to just visit NY for a couple months, and all it took was a tons of parking tickets, loud sirens, murderous traffic, tiny living space, and ONE big snow storm to put things into perspective. I now live in FL, and I LOVE the calmness and being able to wear my flip flops year round. LOL. Bottom line, when all is said and done, our health should be our #1 priority, and changing your environment can IMMENSELY change your life and health for the better. So #salute to you making your wellbeing a priority, and walking the path that makes you happiest and healthiest!
Yes to all of this!!
I have lived in NYC for 6 years now and I would be moving to NJ as well in September and I couldn’t be more excited! NYC was good while it lasted when I was young but as I get older (would be 25 in October) , I crave a bigger living space without paying an arm and a leg, I want to be able to drive my car around and also want a cleaner, less crowded environment. I’m sick of the crazy traffic, very long commutes on trains and expensive lifestyle. The quality of my life and peace of mind matters to me more now than ever. I can always go to NY when I need to, it would be just a train ride away, but I’m so done with it and I can’t wait to be out.
Girl come to Jersey City it’s the business! I’ll show you around 😀
I was searching “natural hair stuff” and your blog was a link I clicked on. So glad I found your blog and this post because I am actually thinking of moving to the east coast area hopefully by next summer, that’s my goal I set for myself. The area I am looking right now is the Newark area, mainly because I would like to go to graduate school at Rutgers. Which is I hear is a great education institution. I may have to look into the Jersey City area since you mentioned it. One request, can you do a post with some tips or suggestions on living in the Jersey area or east coast in general? Thank you.
Rutgers is a great school from what I’ve heard! Newark has some pretty nice places to live now as well, but definitely visit before committing to anything.
The east coast varies widely – I think Boston, NJ/NY, DMV, ATL, Virginia, etc all have their own vibes. I definitely plan to most more on fun things to do in Jersey every once in a while, at least on social media if not also on the blog.
Definitely will visit soon, thank you! 🙂
I live in NYC, but moved from Jersey City (Journal Square area) to be closer to BF and honestly I am miserable. In fact I told him that I want to move. He lives in East Harlem, an area I grew up in as a child but an area I out grew. I have been thinking about moving to Weschester(spent my teen years living there and dad and sister live there now) or different parts of NJ (more suburban). I thought I would love being back in the city I was born and raised in. I come home angry and uptight. I feel like I have no peace and space. I definitely feel like living in the city stunts a persons growth after a while. I used to write. I haven’t done that since I moved. Congrats on your move and your rest 🙂 Hopefully soon I will be doing that soon,LOL
Girl do not let the city stunt your greatness!! Get back out to the suburbs and have him come visit you! I went to Westchester for the first time two weekends ago and loved it – between there and Jersey City which are both 30 minutes away from Manhattan there’s really no reason to be stifled by crazy NYC.
It’s not quite the same, but living in Lagos can be just as busy as living in New York. On a trip to Abuja, my husband and I could not believe how peaceful the city was and briefly contemplated packing up everything and moving. As much fun as there is to be had, peace of mind is very necessary to a high quality of life.
Congrats on your new place!
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It’s not the same because Lagos is crazier! I think the main difference is that if I lived in Lagos with the same income as I have here, I would be able to hire help to cook and clean and maybe even drive me around – amenities that definitely make living in a crazier place a bit easier to manage. Thank you!
I moved from New York to Baltimore when I was only 9, but I still remember it being such a huge difference. Dark nights that were actually quiet without the sound of sirens and people all over the place. It was actually kind of scary when I first moved to Baltimore because it was so quiet in the part I lived in. I visit New York now and wonder if I could ever move back LOL. Probably not. Good for you girl! Enjoy your sanity
Lol I thought I’d miss sirens for just one second but nope! I’d rather be scared because it’s quiet and fall asleep eventually then never be able to fall asleep because of the noise! Don’t move back – you’re not missing anything.
Outside of Barbados for the first few months of my life LOL and a few months at a time growing up, I’ve only lived in Brooklyn. But we have dreams of moving to MD eventually. I hear you on needing peace and, depending on where you are, MD has it.
Right now, we have both a police precinct AND firehouse a block away… le struggle! So we’ve gone to just hearing sirens every now and then to every single day, multiple times a day!
I pray we find a peaceful (and CLEAN! LOL) abode like what you’ve found in NJ! Congrats! 😉
Jesus be a fence police and firehouse?! Tew much! And good luck on the hunt!
I have never lived in New York, but I love to visit, ONLY for the shopping, entertainment or dining. It is quite noisey there and seems very polluted, but outside of that, I just love visiting. I appreciate more calmness around me as well as I was raised in Jackson, MS but born in Chicago, IL. I get what you mean when you say “adulting” it leads to greater day to day excitement ESPECIALLY as you prepare for your wedding and then motherhood. As I get older I find that I appreciate more low key entertainment like jazz, blues, stepping and swing dancing better known as grown-n-sexy adult entertainment, but of course I enjoy these things even more so now that my children are grown and gone. WON’T HE DO IT!!!! Enjoy your new space and “adulting”
Yesss grown n sexy adult entertainment! Now if I could just find some in my new neighborhood. Thanks for reading and commenting!
I heard a lot about New York City but I have never lived in a big city. I’m a small town city girl. I know bigger cities have a lot to offer but I am sure there are things I would not like. Small town is the same there less people, traffic peaceful and historical places but no major big stores to shop,professional team nor major attractions to bring in travelers. Honestly, I love small town.
Yeah small towns have their downsides when it comes to things to do. The ideal is to live in a small town close enough to a bigger town so you can at least have some attractions, restaurants, or shopping nearby when you do want some activity.