Why I Don’t Trust People Who Part Their Hair in the Middle

I’m not even the kind of person with trust issues, but if there’s one kind of person I can’t trust, it’s someone with a center part.

Listen.

When someone doesn’t part their hair, they’re saying they are too fabulous, too busy, or too indecisive to choose a part. They have other priorities – whether being great, trying to get their entire life together, or figuring out where to do brunch on Sunday – to part their hair. I respect the genuine hustle or the human struggle, whichever is most applicable.

When someone parts their hair to one side, it says: my life is a bit out of balance, but I still make the most of it. I’m great at some things, but not good at others. One half of my face looks better than the other, so I part to either highlight or cover up the unfavorable side. I’m carefree, I’m fun, and I don’t take myself too seriously. If you’ve noticed, this is where I fall.

Now people who part their hair down the center want you to believe that their life is perfectly symmetrical, that both sides of their face are equally fantastic, and they had enough time to make sure that said part was perfectly centered. If they had time and confidence to do all that, then either they’re not about anything – and hence I don’t trust them – or they’re putting up the biggest front of life – and again, I don’t trust them.

You might be thinking girl you crazy, but go ahead and wrack your brain for every woman who’s screwed you over in the past 5 years.

I bet you more than half of them had a center part. Just saying.

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Comments

  1. I have always had a distrust of people with middle parts!! I shared this with my family recently and my daughter thought I was nuts. I associate it with hippies, drug users and the like. I grew up in the end of the hippie era, probably has something to with that. Or maybe its my own high forhead…

      1. I’m not here to change anyone mind but isn’t it enough of people who stereotype us from white woman to black men and etc.My point is isn’t it time that we as woman base our opinion on character. Character speaks even when the person mouth isn’t moving …..I’ve been judged on the fact that I’m light skinned and I’ve been judged on the fact that I have 7 children little did these folks know that I was a college educated married woman might I add with a middle part at the time. We all need to come up mentally bc it’s a sad day when woman make judgement calls on hair ……good day Qieens

  2. Running out of story ideas? This was silly. People part their hair due to facial symmetry as well. Smh.

      1. You are such a Beautiful woman and I enjoy reading your blog but you can’t be serious. I’ve been considered by others to be a well balanced great listener and a devoted friend and mother. I use to wear my hair down the middle Only bc I liked the way it made my face looked…but now I only wear a side part no personal reason I just love the way it looks. I base trust on what I feel and see from people, bc hairstyles change but whatever is in the heart will show. If a person has a side part for one day but the next day they change there hairstyle do you go back to trusting them?

  3. Lmbo! Now I’m always going to think this anytime I see a girl with a centre part.
    I’ve always been a side part girl. Even when I want to do the carefree, no-part thing, it somehow forms a side part.
    Then there was this one time when I had to have a centre part to be a bridesmaid. I still don’t recognise myself in those pictures.

  4. Lol! I loved this! I have a center part right now because that’s just how the chips fell with this weeks wash & go…it’s neither symmetrical nor straight and I’m so sure one side of my face is prettier than the other. However, it’s ironic that I’m not even trusting myself at the moment! Time to wash this mess out and get back to my left side part, my life was more stable there.

  5. Interesting, now when I arrive at work I’m going seek out all the pretenders. Most of them are so obvious anyway…hahaha

  6. You are a mess Ijeoma! LOL When my hair was relaxed I would rock a center part every now and then but my go to was a right side part. Now I’m gonna figure out if the people I know with a center part are cray cray haha

  7. I was rocking the middle part for a couple of months and that was definitely when I had time. Now that my part has returned to the side and I can say it’s because 1. One side looks better than the other, 2. Hair in face = covering for tired eyes, 3. My center part was no longer centered smh and time is of the essence.

    Basically, this post is hilarious and truth

  8. Girl, you crazy! LOL! You are too funny and never ever have I thought about what goes thru the mind of a side part or center part gal but, hey, you go ‘head! Haha! Love it.

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